First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
