I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize