So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What a dumb baby whore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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