I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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