We're facebook friends in real life
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
