You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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