Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize