The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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