Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
