Whod you bang
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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