she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
