i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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