all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
