weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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