So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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