on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
worst night to have a conscience
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
