i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
