dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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