just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
