She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize