I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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