Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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