Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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