Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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