I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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