have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
