She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize