I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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