I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
