Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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