Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
