God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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