Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
