I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
as a side note pls kill me
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
