Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
