It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Congratulations! We have a period
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