and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you had me at cake vodka
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
