I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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