I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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