I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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