State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
zippers are such a cool invention
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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