Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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