respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
