apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
