you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
