wrigley field is MILF paradise
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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