We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All the doctor said was why
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
