I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize