Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize