Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
