what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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