I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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