I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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