Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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