Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
