whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
