go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
