Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
