I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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